Where are the Gay Couples? Looking for Same Sex Love in Australian Pop Culture.

Sydney is considered the gay capital of Australia. According to the 2011 Australian census, almost 30% of same sex couples reside in Sydney. And in Potts Point, a suburb in the centre of Sydney, more than one fifth of the couples are same sex. But we still rarely see same sex couples represented on TV, in magazines and advertising. Why isn’t the diversity of gay relationships reflected in popular culture?

The Visibility of Same Sex Relationships

Where I live, in the Eastern suburbs of Sydney, there are a lot of gay couples as well, although perhaps not quite as many as Potts Point and Surry Hills (I checked it out: at Bondi Beach, at least 2-4 % of domestic partnerships were prepared to be counted as same sex). Yet in the romantic and sexual visual narratives of the music videos showing at my gym, I only ever see straight relationships portrayed. Any closeness and affection between men, for example, is virtually non-existent in these videos. Men and women, on the other hand, are depicted together across a range of interactions that seem to reflect everything from friendship and companionship, to romantic love, flirtation as well as the obviously erotic.

I’ve nothing against seeing depictions of love, affection, courtship or even sex between men and women in music videos, but it would be great to see some more visual story-telling that crosses the same-gender divide! My guess is that the producers of the music video programmes are either afraid that their advertisers will pull out (due to a backlash from certain viewers) or they are just unaware that they are reinforcing hetero-norms.

But here’s another question: Just how many music videos featuring same sex couples are actually produced?

Gay Sexuality and Gender Diversity in Music Videos

I’ve been lucky to live in Sweden for a few years where there is more representation of same sex couples in advertising and popular culture and more diversity around the performance of gender. Affection between men in Stockholm is not the no-go area it seems to be in suburban Australia. Mainstream films like Patrik 1,5 and broadcasting public acts of intimacy and closeness between men ensures nobody forgets! (Take a look at this Melodifestival rehearsal of ‘Hello Goodbye’ between Erik Segerstedt & Mattias Andréasson)

I can only think of a handful of music videos where I’ve seen narratives of same sex stories or representations of gender diversity, let alone depictions of same sex couples. And most of these could definitely not be classed as mainstream. I’ve posted a few of my favourites here. One high profile music video was ‘Same Love’ by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis which scored a huge number of hits on Youtube in 2012.

Last year Steve Grand released the video for All American Boy, a song about longing for a same sex relationship.

Matt Fishel explores a similar theme in The Football Song.

The video for Carly Rae Jepsen’s ‘Call Me Maybe’ might have a few people thinking about the assumptions they make, even if the potential for a same sex relationship is revealed only as a punchline in the final seconds.

And then there is the Cosmo Jarvis Gay Pirates song that made it onto the Triple J Hottest 100 of 2011.

Gay people are everywhere. And seeing affection between men never hurt anyone. I’d suggest that seeing two men embracing in a music video might even affirm our identity. Many of my counselling clients told me that it makes them ‘feel more normal’ when they see other men together in advertising, films, TV and music videos.

What music videos have you seen that have helped you to feel good about who you are? Post your suggestions below!